Genessia Mods (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
plungeintofire) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
genessiacrackers2018-09-14 12:46 pm
plungeintofire) wrote in genessiacrackers2018-09-14 12:46 pm
1. I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
2. I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
3. why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
2. I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
3. why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
(A) Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
(B) Sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. His bark made it sound like he wanted it.
(C) In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us.
(D) Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, I french braided it. I am such a great friend.
(E) And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right.
(B) Sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. His bark made it sound like he wanted it.
(C) In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us.
(D) Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, I french braided it. I am such a great friend.
(E) And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right.
1. The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
2.Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
3. I have surprise drugs for everyone
2.Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
3. I have surprise drugs for everyone
1. I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
2. it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
3. Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
4. woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. I don't know if I should consider this good or bad
6. There's about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever
2. it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
3. Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
4. woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. I don't know if I should consider this good or bad
6. There's about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever
1.) Is this your idea of a pick-up line?
1. Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
2. You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while I made alien sound effects
3. Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
4. I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
2. You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while I made alien sound effects
3. Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
4. I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Edited 2018-09-14 20:53 (UTC)
01. I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj".
02. You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
03. I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
04. Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives.
05. (30+ M/F swole soldier types only) You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you.
06. [ Text her! ]
02. You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
03. I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
04. Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives.
05. (30+ M/F swole soldier types only) You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you.
06. [ Text her! ]
I thought I was to blame for the bbq sauce, I am a cook after all.
1. I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
2. dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
3. Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
2. dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
3. Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Why would you let a large preditory cat attack you?
1. Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
2. It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
3. And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
2. It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
3. And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
What did you do to end up in the ER in the first place?
1. seriously phone. stop auto-correcting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
2. I woke up with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
3. Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
4. The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
5. Text Her!
2. I woke up with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
3. Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
4. The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
5. Text Her!
1.) I've never thought I was a good person.
2.) I proved that me being a Wizard does not help me tolerate alcohol better.
3.) Sorry about your roof. I thought it was looking at me funny.
4.) It's a harmless experiment. Why all the fuss?
5.) Text him!
2.) I proved that me being a Wizard does not help me tolerate alcohol better.
3.) Sorry about your roof. I thought it was looking at me funny.
4.) It's a harmless experiment. Why all the fuss?
5.) Text him!
1. It's really awkward to greet a co-worker when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
2. I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Nikola by the way.
3. what happened last night?
4. Why am I in a dog kennel?
5. Text him?
2. I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Nikola by the way.
3. what happened last night?
4. Why am I in a dog kennel?
5. Text him?
⓵ I told her her eyes r like the color of pluto's butthole.
⓶ My teacher told me he never wanted to use a ruler on someone as much as me.
⓷ I 1 wna say ur a gr8 friend and I to 2ndly say I found the rum.
⓸ I told him I wanted a refund, or I'm not going to lock your keyhole.
⓹ They told me I can't just take the duck out walking and my dog needs to be registered?????
⓵ I didn't send the picture of my dick, that was Lefty.
⓶ I need your help to unbury me, I went in the ground too deep.
⓷ You made a "bed" in my closet with my clothes and demanded I put a collar on you.
⓸ You told me I looked like I needed more horse power and told me to get on your back.
⓹ text him!
1.I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
2.We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
3.also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
1. I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
2. Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
3. I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Edited 2018-09-15 16:44 (UTC)
You set your own hair on fire as a party trick! I still have the pictures.
1. He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying.
2. I don't know... He walked out of your room with a kraft single... and blood on his shirt... He really wanted cheese.
3. Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....?
4. We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his wife. And no one said a word. THAT DRUNK!
5. If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns!
2. I don't know... He walked out of your room with a kraft single... and blood on his shirt... He really wanted cheese.
3. Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....?
4. We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his wife. And no one said a word. THAT DRUNK!
5. If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns!
That's silly! You can't fly. And unicorns can't fly either. I've met some.
1. No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags.
2. You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
3. if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
4. The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
5. we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
6. Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
2. You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
3. if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
4. The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
5. we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
6. Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
So we're cleaning out some of the 24 hour places stationary-sections---got it. How many post-its come in a pack again?
1. To recap: You told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual.
2. You were just laying there on the air mattress watching Spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
3. I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me his cat peed on the couch.
4. Your youporn search history says otherwise.
5. I don't get it. If you broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't you have brought me a kriffing taco???
2. You were just laying there on the air mattress watching Spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
3. I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me his cat peed on the couch.
4. Your youporn search history says otherwise.
5. I don't get it. If you broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't you have brought me a kriffing taco???
1. You face planting the wall was epic!
2. I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by a zombie detective?
3. Was that you asking me at 4 am last night to borrow a rubber ducky?
2. I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by a zombie detective?
3. Was that you asking me at 4 am last night to borrow a rubber ducky?
3. Yes. Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to.
[OOC: I am SO glad these are non-canon...]
1. Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout.
2. If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
3. You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
4. You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
5. Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
1. Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout.
2. If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
3. You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
4. You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
5. Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
1) Was last night real life? Did you really light your hair on fire
2) I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes
3) You tried to eat your way through the wall. Literally. And Chireiden has steel plates under the frescos and wallpaper.
4) You were just laying there on the air mattress watching that sponge show and holding a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
5) You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
6) Text Her!
2) I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes
3) You tried to eat your way through the wall. Literally. And Chireiden has steel plates under the frescos and wallpaper.
4) You were just laying there on the air mattress watching that sponge show and holding a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
5) You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
6) Text Her!
Knowing you Koishii, I'm not surprised. You're adorable and terrifying in one.
1. You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win.
2. You told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual.
3. You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to accuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intoxication.
2. You told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual.
3. You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to accuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intoxication.
1. Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
2. You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
3. You were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
4. Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
5. I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
2. You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
3. You were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
4. Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
5. I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
2. Did I? Did I? Really? Really?
4. [speaks in dolphin which translates loosely too; apparently]
4. [speaks in dolphin which translates loosely too; apparently]
1. You told me the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
2. Well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
3. I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
2. Well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
3. I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
1. One, totally not my fault. Two, ...having grilled chicken for lunch.
2. ....was I as charming as that sounds?
3. Llrea? Os oyu ddi pcki pu no my creset doce! ;)
2. ....was I as charming as that sounds?
3. Llrea? Os oyu ddi pcki pu no my creset doce! ;)
1. Does the girl you just fucked want anything from Taco Bell?
2. Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
3. Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
4. Be careful, there is sex in the air.
5. HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT!
2. Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
3. Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
4. Be careful, there is sex in the air.
5. HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT!
2. You sure? I mean, those were still fun nights.
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